fruit foraging in sherman oaks

November 23, 2008

limes!  everywhere more and more limes, dropping from the sky like green gobules of bitterness and caught by these opportune, verdant trees.  i pick them off and put them in my pockets, my bag, wash them of dirt, squeeze them on chicken and into sangria.  these are my bright green power pills.  they are fucking omnipresent.  they are the tears of a futuristic johnny appleseed.  i call him jesus limebarca.  hey soos.

figs.  some fucking bag of dogshit PRUNED MY FUCKING FIG TREE.  well, it was on his rental, but wtf.  i was waiting for those to ripen.  there’s another one down the street on someone’s lot, never been pruned, sagging to the ground under the weight of thousands of black figs, falling and rotting on the ground like a sodden baked pie.  glorious.  i will hop that fence soon and take my tangy hostages. 

persimmons!  not the good kind, but the very astringent kind (as my friend gregg informed me). i grabbed about three of these shiny sirens and tried each.  they dried my mouth out so bad that i had to wipe my tounge on my sleeve.  they kinda were sweet at first, but turned out rather gnarly.

apples.  yeah apples and oranges everywhere too.


3 Responses to “fruit foraging in sherman oaks”

  1. Gregg Says:

    Yeh… good thing you couldnt swallow em huh?


    you are the best.



  2. astronymous Says:

    man if i had swallowed those persimmons i’d be shitting sand castles

  3. Gregg Says:

    sand castles if yer lucky.

    parts of your digestive tract possibly.

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